If you would like to ask others for help it is important to do so in an effective way. This means that you should be able to talk to others about your thoughts, feelings and experiences. It also means that you stand up for yourself.
Things that will help you to effectively ask for help:
Think about what you want or need and what your feelings are about the current situation.
Describe your problem in one or two sentences.
Describe your thoughts and feelings clearly, so that the other person can understand your point of view.
Be honest and direct.
Keep the feelings of the other person in mind.
Give detailed information about what kind of help you need.
Be flexible: maybe you won’t get exactly what you asked for, but you will get something that will be helpful.
Break it down into smaller parts – it’s usually easier for people to say yes to a little request than to a big one.
If you reach a point where you do not know what to do anymore: take a break – go back to the discussion at a future time. For example: agree to think about it and talk again tomorrow afternoon.
If appropriate, offer to do the task together first.
Don’t give up. It may take many attempts before things change.
Asking for help will not always lead to the result you want, but it is important that you feel able to ask for it.
Let’s have a look at Lolwa again
She knows who to turn to for help and decides to ask her sister. Lolwa would like to have an evening to herself once a week. She tries to ask for help in three different ways.
